Marriage is a social custom which is given importance in most of the human societies all over the world & hence mate selection is a crucial part in marriage .
Psychologists & Sociologists have developed several theories which deal with mate selection .These theories mainly suggest the factors that govern consciously or unconsciously an individual's choice for a mate. There are various theories however I am mentioning the
common & popular theories of mate selection.
1 ) HOMOGAMY THEORY :
According to this theory individuals choose life partner who also has the same religion , race , social status & economical status as he or she has.According to Psychologists the more the couple is homogamous the better is their married life.
2 ) PROPINQUITY THEORY :
According to this theory individuals often choose to marry a person with whom they are working in office for a long time or studying in same college or staying in same area or locality.The theory is based on the fact the individuals who work together or in same area or company or study in same class or college or stay in same area meet daily or occasionally & therefore develop some kind of attraction which influences their decision of mate selection.
3) COMPLEMENTARY NEED THEORY :
The theory has been propounded by Winch .According to this theory the individual seeks out a mate to complement his or her own personality. Winch suggests that in mate selection the need pattern of each spouse will be complementary rather than similar to the need pattern of the other spouse .In other words the person choose a mate who will fill out the weaknesses in his or her personality.
4) PARENTAL IMAGE THEORY :
Psychologist Sigmund Freud proposed this theory. According to this theory a child develops a deep attachment for the parent of opposite sex. Therefore in a partner the youth tends to seek the quality of his opposite sex parent .Thus a girl wishes to marry a man who has similar traits of her father & man wants to marry a woman who has similar traits of his mother. These theories govern our choice of mate consciously or unsconciously
FOR THE SAKE OF STOMACH
By the Grace of God , I am living a good life where I do not have to bother for my daily bread but I wish it was the same for all Indian women . Unfortunately it is true that a large number of Indian women have to work extremely hard every day to get their daily bread . Due to ignorance & social customs like childhood marriage many Indian women are illiterate . As a result of which they have to go for jobs which involve more of physical work than mental work. However there are some professions which neither demand much physical or mental labor but still very hard & painful. Well in this article I am elucidating on the profession of Rudali & women posing nude for aspiring artists.
Rudalis are women who are hired for morning in Rajasthan . These women have to dress up in black attire & have to cry loudly & beat their chest for hours. To cry continuously they use a kind of kajal to maintain the flow of tears. Rudalis are paid very nominal for their work . Just 15-20 Rs to cry for 4-5 hours. In long run crying affects the health of Rudalis. In Rajasthan people hire Rudalis for mourning when somebody dies in their family. It is believed that hiring Rudalis is a matter of status symbol & prestige. Wealthier the person & more number of Rudalis are hired by him in the event of death in his family.
Still more painful & harder is the job of women posing nude for aspiring artists . In art schools where students are trained in painting & sketching women for nude modeling are appointed & are paid daily for their work. They have to pose nude for several hours & some times even have to work overtime. However these women are not paid in accordance with their toil. They get around 200 Rs daily . Recently I read about 50 years old Arai Sankar Naidu who is posing nude for last 30 years in Mumbai's oldest art college - J J School of Arts . Arai is an uneducated lady & due to domestic violence she left her in-laws house & migrated to Mumbai . In order to earn her daily bread she took up the job of nude model in J J School of Arts. When she started her career she used to get 8 Rs for 12 hours of work . Now she gets around 200 Rs from which she spends 25 Rs per day in transportation. Arai is not happy with the pay scale , she is happy as she was able to educate her son in an English medium school. Although Arai has helped several students of J J School of Arts in becoming renowned artists but unfortunately Arai is still a very poor lady living in Chembur area of Mumbai.
Thus to get petty requirements of life fulfilled many Indian women have to take up profession of mourners & nude models.
Rudalis are women who are hired for morning in Rajasthan . These women have to dress up in black attire & have to cry loudly & beat their chest for hours. To cry continuously they use a kind of kajal to maintain the flow of tears. Rudalis are paid very nominal for their work . Just 15-20 Rs to cry for 4-5 hours. In long run crying affects the health of Rudalis. In Rajasthan people hire Rudalis for mourning when somebody dies in their family. It is believed that hiring Rudalis is a matter of status symbol & prestige. Wealthier the person & more number of Rudalis are hired by him in the event of death in his family.
Still more painful & harder is the job of women posing nude for aspiring artists . In art schools where students are trained in painting & sketching women for nude modeling are appointed & are paid daily for their work. They have to pose nude for several hours & some times even have to work overtime. However these women are not paid in accordance with their toil. They get around 200 Rs daily . Recently I read about 50 years old Arai Sankar Naidu who is posing nude for last 30 years in Mumbai's oldest art college - J J School of Arts . Arai is an uneducated lady & due to domestic violence she left her in-laws house & migrated to Mumbai . In order to earn her daily bread she took up the job of nude model in J J School of Arts. When she started her career she used to get 8 Rs for 12 hours of work . Now she gets around 200 Rs from which she spends 25 Rs per day in transportation. Arai is not happy with the pay scale , she is happy as she was able to educate her son in an English medium school. Although Arai has helped several students of J J School of Arts in becoming renowned artists but unfortunately Arai is still a very poor lady living in Chembur area of Mumbai.
Thus to get petty requirements of life fulfilled many Indian women have to take up profession of mourners & nude models.
A REAL COMPANION OF UNCLAIMED DEAD BODIES
Asit Kumar Dutta lovingly known as Asitda an elderly man from Samastipur , is a Jewel of our society , an ideal for many people & a real companion of unclaimed dead bodies.Yes you must be wondering what do I mean by," real companion of unclaimed dead bodies " .I know it sounds very strange but Asitda who is a retired Class IV Railway employee has friendship with the dead.
From last 50 years he is performing last reties of unclaimed or abandoned dead bodies which he finds near the banks of the Bruhi Gandak river in Samastipur.Performing last rites of dead people has become part of his daily schedule. Every day in the morning he first heads to the river & if he finds any unclaimed body he volunteers his or her funeral. Asitda also donates money to people who cannot afford the funeral ceremony of their beloveds.In 1957 Asitda participated in a discussion in Japan where he emphasized on the importance of last rites among Indians.
Asitda's contribution to Indian society through his social work is worth praising.It depicts social work needs determination,devotion , dedication & heart to donate money.
OSHO & ME
The great soul passed away when I was around 5 & therefore I did not see him . The fact that makes me feel unlucky is that he used to give lectures in WOOD LAND APARTMENTS on PEDDER ROAD which is very close to my building but since I was very young I never attended his lectures. I heard from people that he did not preach good things & so it is bad to take even his name & this made me curious to know more about him .
Although I had never visited any of his followers lectures till date but I have read some of his magazines & heard few of his audio tapes & on the basis of these audio visual aids I can say he was THE MOST INTELLIGENT MAN ON EARTH . He had knowledge on each & everything. I can say nothing was not known to him. He knew almost all languages & he visited all most all countries . When ever I think about Osho I wonder how one can remember everything ? & how one man can have knowledge on every subject ? . Was he a computer ?
As the title of the post is OSHO & ME , let me share with you the reason for chossing this title . According to Osho , in world the most beautiful & meaningful name is " MOKSH " & he likes this name from bottom of his heart . Now as you know my name is MOKSHA. I started feeling proud when I came to know that it is Acharya Rajneesh's favourite name .From the day I have started reading Osho's magazines I too try to gather info on different topics like religion , customs , science , fiction , history etc. & even tried to learn few different languages .Although I cannot reach Osho's intellectual level but because of him I have improved my GK to a certain extent & I always give credit to Osho when people praise me for my general knowledge.
SIT LIKE STATUES
In schools & colleges during break time students love to imitate teachers & professors. In fact it is a way of recreation. Although I never imitated any of my teachers but I was unable to control my laughter when my classmates used to imitate teachers.
I have noticed that teachers & professors with course of time become habitual . They behave in a same manner in every lecture .I observed that some teachers unconsciously repeat same word, some make a particular sound, one of my teacher used to make a sound of “aa…..n “after every 5-6 minutes .As a result of which some mischievous students pick up teachers or professors habit & than easily imitate the teacher in free time.
When ever I think about my school days & students imitating teachers, I remember my science teacher, Mr. Khalghatti who taught me science in 10th standard. Mr. Khalghatti had harsh looks, he was rude by nature & very strict, his eyes were red like tomatoes & his spectacle was always on his nose... All of us named him as ‘ KALA KHATTA SIR ‘ .This is a brief description of Mr. Khalghatti Sir but what made some naughty students to imitate him was his style of punishing students. When ever he used to get angry. He first took out his watch &spectacle than he used to roll up his sleeves than without uttering a word with his index finger he used to call the student who made him angry. When the student comes towards him, Mr. Khalghatti used to lift the face of the student with his finger like how a man lifts the face of his newly wedded wife & than he slapped with both his hands.
Now let me tell you the way Mr. Khalghatti used to slap was unique till today I have not seen any other person slapping like Khalghatti sir. As I wrote earlier he slapped with both his hands at a time but the astonishing fact was his hands used to go cross .Meaning his right hand on the left cheek & the left hand on the right cheek of the student. Within a blink of eye the students cheek turned red because of 16-20 slaps at a time but the funniest thing was the students who were slapped did not cry but instead they smiled , I do not know why ? Now looking at the process of punishment it was very hard for rest of the students to control laughter but before anyone starts giggling Khalghatti sir used to say loudly ‘ SIT LIKE STATUES “ & if he finds any one laughing than that student will also will be slapped by him . Many times it happened that 2-3 students were slapped because of laughing.
It was very difficult for us to control laughter so we used to cover our face with handkerchief or with hands or sometimes we used to look in books as if we are reading something seriously. I always used to look down on the floor to avoid eye contact with Khalghatti sir &other student’s .After Mr. Khalghatti’s departure from class the student who got the punishment used to imitate Kalghatti sir . The student who got those tight slaps would become Kalghatti sir& one of his friends would become student & the whole process of slapping was repeated. Than the whole class would laugh like anything.
I remember among my classmates Mayur, Harish & Manoj were punished maximum by Kalghatti sir. As I am writing about Kalghatti sir &his slapping process I am unable to control my laughter & I can never forget his words ‘ SIT LIKE STATUES
I have noticed that teachers & professors with course of time become habitual . They behave in a same manner in every lecture .I observed that some teachers unconsciously repeat same word, some make a particular sound, one of my teacher used to make a sound of “aa…..n “after every 5-6 minutes .As a result of which some mischievous students pick up teachers or professors habit & than easily imitate the teacher in free time.
When ever I think about my school days & students imitating teachers, I remember my science teacher, Mr. Khalghatti who taught me science in 10th standard. Mr. Khalghatti had harsh looks, he was rude by nature & very strict, his eyes were red like tomatoes & his spectacle was always on his nose... All of us named him as ‘ KALA KHATTA SIR ‘ .This is a brief description of Mr. Khalghatti Sir but what made some naughty students to imitate him was his style of punishing students. When ever he used to get angry. He first took out his watch &spectacle than he used to roll up his sleeves than without uttering a word with his index finger he used to call the student who made him angry. When the student comes towards him, Mr. Khalghatti used to lift the face of the student with his finger like how a man lifts the face of his newly wedded wife & than he slapped with both his hands.
Now let me tell you the way Mr. Khalghatti used to slap was unique till today I have not seen any other person slapping like Khalghatti sir. As I wrote earlier he slapped with both his hands at a time but the astonishing fact was his hands used to go cross .Meaning his right hand on the left cheek & the left hand on the right cheek of the student. Within a blink of eye the students cheek turned red because of 16-20 slaps at a time but the funniest thing was the students who were slapped did not cry but instead they smiled , I do not know why ? Now looking at the process of punishment it was very hard for rest of the students to control laughter but before anyone starts giggling Khalghatti sir used to say loudly ‘ SIT LIKE STATUES “ & if he finds any one laughing than that student will also will be slapped by him . Many times it happened that 2-3 students were slapped because of laughing.
It was very difficult for us to control laughter so we used to cover our face with handkerchief or with hands or sometimes we used to look in books as if we are reading something seriously. I always used to look down on the floor to avoid eye contact with Khalghatti sir &other student’s .After Mr. Khalghatti’s departure from class the student who got the punishment used to imitate Kalghatti sir . The student who got those tight slaps would become Kalghatti sir& one of his friends would become student & the whole process of slapping was repeated. Than the whole class would laugh like anything.
I remember among my classmates Mayur, Harish & Manoj were punished maximum by Kalghatti sir. As I am writing about Kalghatti sir &his slapping process I am unable to control my laughter & I can never forget his words ‘ SIT LIKE STATUES
WHY I HATE BUFFET SYSTEM
I generally do not prefer buffet system even before taking food in my plate I feel satiety .Standing in the queue at the food counter like a show piece makes me feel odd. On top of this the weight of plates annoys me. In most of the 7 & 8 stars hotels like Taj, Hayaat Regency etc the plates are of ceramic as a result the plates are very heavy & you know standing in the queue with such heavy plates almost fill my stomach. The list of reasons to why I hate buffet system does not end here, my whole concentration is on my attires & not on food because I do not want any one to spill dal, sabzi, ice cream on my clothes & you know how embarrassing is to move about in party with a yellow or any other colour food stain on your robes .Few years back one young boy spilled cold drink on my kurta & because of that I have to sit in a corner throughout out the party.
Many times I have experienced that people in hurry to get food , unconsciously put their shoes or sandals on your feet & it hurts so badly that your party mood completely spoils. The person will than turn towards you & will say sorry but sorry does not decrease the pain. Apart from this now a days in most of the bigger hotels only fork is provided with the plate by the waiter & there is no spoon on the counter. Now it is next to impossible for me to eat dal , sabzi & rice with fork . Eating rice & dal with hands without spoon looks very indecent. Sometimes I have seen that bowls ( katori ) are also not given with the plates & one has to take directly all the food in the plate. In this situation I avoid dal , sabzi , curd etc & only fill my stomach with papad & sweet dish . One more thing I hate people who fill their plate with food items once only. They make a mountain of food on plate. It looks so dirty so I never fill my plate just take 2-3 items at a time but than it is very irritating to again stand in long queue & get the rest of the food. So I take once & than keep my plate.
Due to all these reasons I like the traditional Pangat system. Where people sit on floor & other people serve food with respect. The Pangat system is best according to me as we can relax & eat food we do not have to run here & there for food & than for a chair to sit .Also digestion is proper if we sit & eat food.
Many times I have experienced that people in hurry to get food , unconsciously put their shoes or sandals on your feet & it hurts so badly that your party mood completely spoils. The person will than turn towards you & will say sorry but sorry does not decrease the pain. Apart from this now a days in most of the bigger hotels only fork is provided with the plate by the waiter & there is no spoon on the counter. Now it is next to impossible for me to eat dal , sabzi & rice with fork . Eating rice & dal with hands without spoon looks very indecent. Sometimes I have seen that bowls ( katori ) are also not given with the plates & one has to take directly all the food in the plate. In this situation I avoid dal , sabzi , curd etc & only fill my stomach with papad & sweet dish . One more thing I hate people who fill their plate with food items once only. They make a mountain of food on plate. It looks so dirty so I never fill my plate just take 2-3 items at a time but than it is very irritating to again stand in long queue & get the rest of the food. So I take once & than keep my plate.
Due to all these reasons I like the traditional Pangat system. Where people sit on floor & other people serve food with respect. The Pangat system is best according to me as we can relax & eat food we do not have to run here & there for food & than for a chair to sit .Also digestion is proper if we sit & eat food.
TV SHOWS THAT HELP IN MORAL DEVELPMENT OF YOUNG CHILDREN
When ever I recall my childhood, glimpse of Doordarshan shows rush into my mind. When I was a child Doordarshan was baetaj badshah as there was no other TV channel to compete with Doordarshan. I still remember most of the Doordarshan shows. I used to eagerly wait for weekly shows like Karam Chand, Mungeri lal ke haseen sapnae, Nukad, Buniyaad etc. The best thing about these shows was there was no recap of previous episode. Now a days a lot of time is wasted because of recap system .Apart fro this all Doordarshan shows were weekly & with fixed number of episodes. Mungari lal ke hassen sapnae which still adore was only of 13 episodes.
During summer holidays there used to be fairy tale shows in the afternoon time on Doordarshan .Alice in the wonder land, Pilipka our little son, Jack & the bean stock are some of my favorite fairy tales. Fairytales & Panchtantra khanis inculcate in children moral values like honesty, truth, hard work, sacrifice, sincerity, forgiveness, love etc. Therefore according to me young children must read & watch fairy tales & other short moral stories. However I feel very sorry for today’s young children because their moral development is adversely affected by Saas-bahu, fashion & gaming type of TV shows. Although there is boom of TV channels but hardly any TV channel telecasts shows like Vikram Betaal, Daadi aamma ki potli, Arabian Knights like Sindbaad, Ali Baba aur challis chor. Personally I feel this one of the reason of WHY TODAYS’S YOUNG CHILDREN BEHAVELIKE ADULTS? , WHY CHILDREN DO NOT RESPECT ELDERS?
I am sure you must have seen the promos of RAMAYAN EK ACCHI AADAT on ND TV IMAGINE. The promos too elucidate on what I mentioned above that today’s children are spoiling & they should watch shows which aids in moral development. In one of the promos a young girl says to her mother’s friend ‘Mujhae pata hai tumhari ladki kisiladke ke saath bhaag gayi hogi kyuki us Mei abhi javaani ka khoon daud raha hai, lekin chinta mat karo kal subah tak laut aayegi .
Thus TV channels should telecast shows which will help in the development of moral values of children. Since the future of India is in the hands of today’s young children
During summer holidays there used to be fairy tale shows in the afternoon time on Doordarshan .Alice in the wonder land, Pilipka our little son, Jack & the bean stock are some of my favorite fairy tales. Fairytales & Panchtantra khanis inculcate in children moral values like honesty, truth, hard work, sacrifice, sincerity, forgiveness, love etc. Therefore according to me young children must read & watch fairy tales & other short moral stories. However I feel very sorry for today’s young children because their moral development is adversely affected by Saas-bahu, fashion & gaming type of TV shows. Although there is boom of TV channels but hardly any TV channel telecasts shows like Vikram Betaal, Daadi aamma ki potli, Arabian Knights like Sindbaad, Ali Baba aur challis chor. Personally I feel this one of the reason of WHY TODAYS’S YOUNG CHILDREN BEHAVELIKE ADULTS? , WHY CHILDREN DO NOT RESPECT ELDERS?
I am sure you must have seen the promos of RAMAYAN EK ACCHI AADAT on ND TV IMAGINE. The promos too elucidate on what I mentioned above that today’s children are spoiling & they should watch shows which aids in moral development. In one of the promos a young girl says to her mother’s friend ‘Mujhae pata hai tumhari ladki kisiladke ke saath bhaag gayi hogi kyuki us Mei abhi javaani ka khoon daud raha hai, lekin chinta mat karo kal subah tak laut aayegi .
Thus TV channels should telecast shows which will help in the development of moral values of children. Since the future of India is in the hands of today’s young children
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
